Musings of a Mute
by Seeress
Summary: [One shot; timeframe of the Mallorean] The melancholy thoughts of one lone mute, and of how his duty forced him to 'betray' his closest friend.


Musings of a Mute

_Disclaimer:_ The characters and plot of the book series _The Mallorean _were created and belong to David Eddings. This is a purely non-profit story written for entertainment purposes only.

_Author's Notes:_ I tried to make this as accurate as possible, but if some details are out of place I apologize in advance. The concept for this story was formed a long time ago, and I don't remember all the fine points of the story anymore. I have rough notes, but those and my sketchy memory are all I have to go on. The quotes are about the only things that are completely exact. These are the thoughts of Toth as the gang are travelling to Rak Hagga after Kal Zakath's guards capture them.

With that said, enjoy.

**~*~*~*~**

He stood tall and looming on the deck of the ship, his hands resting lightly on the rail and staring out into nothingness. It was early in the morning, and the sun had only begun to peak over the horizon, tinting it a pinkish red. The sea was black and the wet snow continued to fall in large, heavy flakes. The large swells made no sound as they broke the surface of the water, and the muffled, slow-measured beats of the rowing drum was the only sound in the calm morning air. He found that the scene suited his mood. He felt absolutely melancholy.  

_"Is this your idea of friendship? Is this how you repay all our kindness?"_

Durnik's words from the previous night still haunted him, along with the look in his eyes. 

_"I was wrong about you, Toth. You were never a friend. Your mistress just put you in a position where the two of you could betray us."_

The smith had been furious, of that he was certain. Durnik thought that he was only there to betray them, but even if he tried to explain, Durnik wouldn't understand. Prophecy and sorcery were things that were still unexplored to Durnik, even if he had married the most powerful sorceress in the world.

Since the beginning of time, the prophecies have depicted the events that are fated to take place. The only thing left unknown is the result of the confrontation. In order for all the necessary parties to be present at the time of the meeting, one must stop fighting with the prophecies. He knew the consequences of trying to defy fate. It was the curse of his people, who had sworn themselves into the service of the Seers after fate had cursed them with muteness. He loved his mistress dearly and he had finally found a friend in Durnik; these were two things that he could not afford to lose. And so he had not tried to resist another time and simply let them be captured.

Someone who didn't understand would think it an act of betrayal, as Durnik had. He knew that Polgara and Belgarath understood; between the two of them, no one could force them to do anything unless they permitted it. If they had not surrendered, someone critical may have been injured in a conflict, and then they would have to try to make their way to Rak Hagga on their own. Instead, everyone was safe although slightly deterred and they were heading to pick up another one of the key players in the prophetical game with guaranteed safe passage.

Still, this knowledge didn't make his duty any easier to carry out. But it had to be done; his sole duty was to guide them, and he wouldn't be doing a very good job had one of them gotten killed. And although he knew he was doing the right thing, a twinge of guilt had started to build inside him. He just couldn't get Durnik's words out of his head.

_"You and I are through, Toth. I'll never trust you again. I don't even want to see your face anymore."_

Soft footsteps sounded lightly behind him, and he turned to see Polgara regarding him gently. He inclined his head politely, and then turned back to his staring. The sun was halfway visible on the edge of the horizon. She came to stand beside him at the railing and they both stood staring at the sunrise.

"I want to apologize for Durnik," Polgara said after some time in an unusually gentle tone. "He doesn't understand. He's usually not so quick to judge people, but you're a very dear friend to him and he's a bit upset."

Toth made no move to indicate that he had heard. He knew everything that she was saying already, but it didn't make it any easier.

"Just give him some time. He'll come around." And this time it in was in her natural brisk fashion. 

She said no more after that, simply watched with him as the sky became progressively brighter and the sun rose higher and higher. Somehow her brisk tone made him feel better. As morning began to approach, more activity was present on the deck of the ship. Sailors began to do their morning chores. 

The dawn was beautiful and even the blackness of the sea seemed to sparkle in the light, but it provided no warmth. His head was still filled with guilt-ridden, depressing thoughts.

The sun had fully risen. The coast of Hagga slowly came into view: the low hills, the extensive salt marshes at the water's edge, and the brown reeds rising out of the water. General Atesca came up behind them.

"We should be reaching the coast soon. I suggest you have everything ready to debark; it's still a two-day ride to the city. Kal Zakath is waiting." He nodded to them curtly before moving off. Polgara made to depart as soon as he was gone.

"Well, I need to pack some things." He turned to her and made a gesture of thanks. She smiled slightly and turned to leave. Toth turned back to his sunrise, which had been over for quite some time. Even so, the scenery calmed him, and he wanted to stay for just a little bit longer. Polgara called to him from behind.

"Toth…"

He turned to face her.

"It's not your fault."

And with that she disappeared into the lower deck.

He stood staring at the door through which she disappeared for a long time. He knew, somewhere in there, Durnik was still mad at him and would probably not speak to him for a very long time. And just as this thought crossed his mind, the door opened and out stepped none other than the man himself. Toth sighed and turned away, looking back once again at the horizon. Durnik spared him a brief glance, but said nothing and moved on.

As the rays of the sun were driving the last remnants of darkness from the corners of the sky, Toth continued to muse on his own. No one understood him, and so he didn't try to explain. He still stood staring even when brown reeds were brushing the ship's sides lightly, and the bottom started to graze the sand of the shore.

No one would ever comprehend the silent musings of a mute.

END


End file.
